Details are blurry but what I can remember is I was in my dead grandmother’s old house in Klang with my bestfriend and another girl with long black hair I don’t recognize. We were bringing in the groceries from the car to the house when suddenly this demon (that surprisingly reminds me of my mother O_O) with sunken eyes and wild hair starts going on a rampage. Our only choice of weapon to defend ourselves is a cleaver. The demon somehow gets a hold of our cleaver and slashes the other girl in front of my eyes.

I start to think to myself that it’s over when my best friend turns around and starts walking menacingly to me. Turns out she was the demon all along. An odd fear rushes through my body as I realize I’m next in line to die. I run away from her, thinking of ways to save myself. I see the cleaver on the floor. I move to grab it and fling it out of the house into the bushes. See, the demon can’t slash me if it can’t find the cleaver. But how was I to know the demon had telekinesis and could summon the cleaver out of the bushes? The demon is now hovering in front of me, cleaver in hand ready to slash and kill me. My mind starts racing. How do I defeat this thing?! Then, as if an afterthought occured, I think “Oh right, I have Jesus!” So I start saying his name, “Jesus! Jesus!“

Nothing happened. Demon still there.

“Maybe I’m saying it wrong.”  I think to myself. So I scream, “Hey-sus! Yeh-sus! Jey-sus! Isa! Jehovah!”

Demon still floating there. Something’s not right.

“Oh wait, it doesn’t make sense to just say His name, I should say a bible verse, right?”

My mind goes blank for what seemed like an eternity. I can’t think of a single bible verse to help me. Panic starting to rise, my eyes fall on the cleaver in her hand and I blurt out the first bible verse that pops in my head,

“No weapon formed against me shall prosper.”

That was it. I couldn’t think of any other bible verse! And I couldn’t even tell exactly which book or verse that was from! So I just keep repeating that one miserable verse over and over. That, and ‘Hey-sus’.

I say angrily to the Holy Spirit, “Aren’t you supposed to bring to remembrance all that Jesus has taught me?! If ever there was a good time for that, it’s now!”

My demon-best-friend raises the cleaver as if to throw it at me and I, feeling so helpless, force myself to wake up because after watching ‘Nightmare On Elm Street’ just a few days ago you don’t feel like dying in your sleep. And I kid you not, when I opened my eyes, I was face-down with one arm twisted at my back.

I woke up and angrily muttered my thoughts to God,“How is it possible after 23 years of going to church, I could only muster up ONE bible verse in defense against a demon? This is ridiculous.”  Then I smiled to myself because ‘ridiculous’ sounded like ‘Riddikulus’, a curse in the Harry Potter series that wizards and witches use to expel a Boggart, a shape-shifting demon that takes the form of a person’s worst fear. Feeling guilty that I could remember a Harry Potter spell but not a bible verse, I sat up and thought of other verses. I only managed 3.

“The name of the Lord is a strong tower, the righteous run to it and they are safe.”

“He who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.”

“Do not fear, for I, the Lord your God am with you.”

Those three verses and the story of the 5 loaves and 2 fish.

“That’s fantastic.”, I grumbled sarcastically to no one in particular, “Next time a demon threatens to slash me, I’ll just sit it down and tell it the story of how Jesus fed the five thousand.”

Why couldn’t I remember any verses? I’m not supposed to be scared right? How come I couldn’t fight back?

Sigh. I certainly didn’t feel like more than a conqueror.

Side note: I may be watching too many slasher and horror movies.

Thinking of: How I just spent one hour of my sleeping time blogging, how I need to pen my thoughts down at a more godly time, New Found Glory’s Kiss Me, how I need to read up on my ‘Defense Against the Dark Arts’ book bible and leaving for work in half an hour.

I know what you’re thinking. If my theme for 2012 is punctuality, why am I writing my New Year’s resolution 2 weeks after New Year’s.

And my answer to you is this:

Moving on, the following will be my 2012 New Year’s quest.

Easy-peasy

1. Take better care of hair and feet.
2. Record another T.Swift cover.
3. Record 2 dance videos.
4. Reach 30 subscribers on YouTube. I currently have 28. 
5. Read ‘How to kill a mockingbird’.
6. Watch ‘The King’s Speech’.

2011 Reso’s brought forward to 2012

1. Clean up iTunes
2. Record one episode of KK Hills 40460 short film.
3. Donate blood.
4. Stop shouting at God. It’s not His fault.

2012′s New Reso’s

1. Lose weight for my Easter play. Current weight: 53 kg. 

Aim: To look like this:

2. Learn how to make 5 new dishes from cookbooks.

3. Learn popping and how to do the robot for the Easter play.

4. Write second page of novel.

5. Take a vow of silence for at least one day. 

6. Go for at least ONE dance competition.

7. BE PUNCTUAL!!! How I plan to achieve this major resolution is simple. I have a punctuality calendar and every time I’m punctual, I get a witness to sign that calendar. However, leopards don’t change their spots overnight (some say they don’t change at all) so I give myself leeway to be late 20% of the time; about 73 days out of 365. More or less. I’m not just trying to be punctual for work but social events as well. So the system is like this; each day carries one point. Out of that one point in one day, work carries a weight of 0.75 pts and social meetings make up 0.25 pts. So if I’m late for work but on time to see friends, I’ll get 0.25 pts for that day. Conversely if I’m on time for work but make a friend wait, I’ll give myself 0.75 pts. At the end of the day, if I can make it to more than 80% of my overall meetings (>292 pts) punctually, I will reward myself with a nice purse.

Wait for the LORD;
be strong and take heart
and wait for the LORD

Psalms 27:14

2012 gon’ be ain’t no thang but a chicken wang.

Thinking of: the Olsen twins in Passport to Paris, Ray J feat. Fat Joe’s Keep Sweating, the Chris’s tying the knot, irresponsible idiots who think it’s okay to send taxi’s to pick up their friends, my brand spanking new year, UrbanGroove and JOLISON’S ENGAGEMENT!!!

So what I could make out from whichever part I was fairly awake for is Luke Skywalker goes to Yoda (the same actor from The Gremlins) to learn the art of the Jedi because Ben (no idea who this is, just remember Luke crying out his name alot) told him to. Meanwhile, Hans Solo (awesome name, by the way), and his Princess Lea team were running away from Darth Vader (the antagonist who sounds surprisingly a lot like the cookie monster) for some reason I couldn’t really understand. Vadey wanted to get to Luke Skywalker (not sure for what reason) and used capturing Princess Leah’s team as bait. So Luke has to choose between completing his Jedi training or going to save his friends. Obviously he chooses to save his friends.

Worst part for me:

Chewbacca (Chewey) really annoyed the crap out of me, he was making noises like a cat in heat. It was not pleasing to my ears.

Favourite part:

I love the last conversation Hans has with Lea.

Hans Solo (fantastic name) about to go into some hibernation portal:

Princess Lea: I love you

Hans: I know

That was such a sad burn for the princess.

Honestly I could barely keep my eyes open, I was just waiting for it to end so I could tick this off my 2011 resolution list. Although it was great that I finally got to see the original clip of the father-son bonding moment where D-Vader says “I am your father, now come join the family business.” and Luke Skywalker screams “Nooooo!!!!!” and jumps off the bridge. I thought that was kinda rude of Luke.

SUMIE RATING:

Even though I wasn’t really paying attention to the movie which attributed to me not really understanding the plot, the story was alright. I give it 2.75-3 stars.

≤ ♦♦♦◊◊

As you can see this post is extremely biased to what I was feeling emotionally at the time. But I did think it was a pretty good movie considering it was made about 32 years ago. Well done, George Lucas, well done. However, I have decided that StarWars is not my cup of tea therefore I shan’t continue watching the other StarWars movies unless another force is with me. Maybe it was late at night, maybe the temperature wasn’t right but I’m not sure why this movie didn’t wow me as much as people said it would but I am definitely open to reconsidering my position on this review if I ever watch the others.

Thinking of: Punctual me, Gong Xi Fa Chai, my brand spanking new year and Breathe Carolina’s Blackout.

BUT! I can finally say, I’VE UNPACKED MY STUFF FROM ADELAIDE! I’M OFFICIALLY BACK FOR GOOD!

It’s also nice to see I’ve actually achieved most of my resolutions.

1) Record another T.Swift cover. Achieved 29/12/11

2) Read ‘The Life of Pi’. Achieved  5/2/11.

3)Write at least 1 page of my book. Achieved 29/12/11

Here’s random snippets of the first page:

“…I wedged myself between two hooded figures whose backs were faced to me. No sooner had I placed myself that I felt a pair of hands run up my thigh. Rolling my eyes, I realized not even typhoons are worth sheltering with perverts who smell like Chewbacca.

…

Someone rushing past glanced at me and I felt this guilty look cross my face. Seemed silly but I felt like everyone’s eyes were on me. I told myself to snap out of it.

…

And it wasn’t as if I could ask someone. The people I hang …”

4)  Learn how to make rasam

5) Learn to speak Tamil, watch one StarWars movie and De-clutter room:

Fun and games aside, although MY theme when I started out was to un-hoard all the unnecessary things in my life, I feel like God had a different theme for me this year.

INDEPENDENCE

This year I feel like I’ve been walking along the path of independence:

Physically, not working with my dad, as sad as I was, really was something I needed to do because although I don’t get to see my dad at work, it’s just a step I had to take.

Mentally, I’ve grown out of taking peoples word for it. If I need information, I find out for myself. I think I’ve used Google more in this year than I have since I started using the internet. Reading the news more often, catching up on general knowledge, politics, science, health, entertainment, I feel when I have a conversation or engage in somewhat intellectual banter, I have something to add, it’s not just hearsay.

Emotionally, I used to run often to anyone who’d lend me a hearing ear, a crying shoulder to just “rant”. This year I had to grow out of that. I had to stop running to everyone to find solace in their reassuring words, but never really listening to their advice, because let’s face it, i only wanted the attention.

Spiritually however, I feel I’ve become more dependent on Him. The author of my life. Though sometimes quiet, He is never detached when I need Him most, which is essentially all the time.

I’m excited about 2012. Excited to see the Mayans’ faces on the 22nd of December, excited for what God has in store. Just. Excited.

“I get better and better, then worser, then better, then better than ever.”

Frightened Rabbit.

On a completely relevant side note:

Thinking of: The Olsen twins, hula-hoops, the flood that comes now that she’s gone, George Lucas’s The Empire Strikes Back, Gym Class Heroes feat. Neon Hitch’s A** Back Home and that stabbing pain.

Dr. Seuss wrote a story once on ‘How the Grinch stole Christmas’. It’s the story of a bitter creature with a heart two sizes too small who hates the holidays. One Christmas Eve he plots to steal Christmas by going to each house, stealing their gifts, food and decorations. He thought that by taking away the form of Christmas, he could make the festivities stop and basically ruin this special day for everyone in Who-ville.

Then he went up the chimney, himself, the old liar.
On their walls he left nothing but hooks and some wire.
And the one speck of food that he left in the house,
Was a crumb that was even too small for a mouse.

Dr. Seuss

Today I had the same nightmare I’ve been having all week. Waking up to a house that the Grinch robbed on Christmas morning. Like someone climbed down my chimney, stole every present under the tree, took every stocking I hung out, ate my last can of Who-hash, stuffed my beautifully decorated tree up the chimney and didn’t have the decency to leave even an inch of tinsel behind.

In the story, the Who’s continue to celebrate Christmas even after their town was robbed blind by the Grinch simply because they know, you can never truly steal Christmas spirit. What matters during Christmas isn’t the decorations or the fact that Jesus wasn’t actually born on Christmas day or that no Christmas carolers came to the house. It’s being with the people that matter the most to you. More importantly, having the spirit is a choice not reliant on circumstance.

And the Grinch, with his Grinch-feet ice cold in the snow, stood puzzling and puzzling, how could it be so? It came without ribbons. It came without tags. It came without packages, boxes or bags. And he puzzled and puzzled ‘till his puzzler was sore. Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn’t before. What if Christmas, he thought, doesn’t come from a store. What if Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more.

Dr Seuss

In my dreams they told me not to think about my Grinch. I tried to forget it. I tried making a choice to move on. And I’m getting there. But nobody gets over a robbery overnight. It’s too soon. I could push his ugly face out of my mind for a while, but here behind these closed doors, he comes back for me. To remind me how much less of a Who I am. To remind me of what he’s taken from me.

Guess for me it’s now a journey to forgive my Grinch.

For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

Matthew 6:14-15 

Damn. I want my Christmas back. But I can’t get that. So I’ll settle for having an awesome New Year. I am NOT taking this nightmare into 2012.

“To err is human, to forgive, divine.”

Alexander Pope

Maybe Christmas, is about something a bit more

Side note: Never, ever, ever go to the malls on Christmas Eve. You’re not the only one doing last minute shopping and next time you may be fined for illegally parking.

Thinking of: MI:4 in IMAX, Celine Dion’s A New Day, violently cute nieces and nephews, the seemingly endless parking in Sunway Pyramid, Tom Cruise’s nice hair, the day when this nightmare will be over and the possibility of achieving all my resolutions in 5 days. Challenge Accepted.

Yesterday I had the privilege to stand and watch Aaron and Carol, two of my most esteemed leaders, tie the knot. It was a truly beautiful ceremony. There’s just something in the air when two people can’t wait to make a lifelong vow to spend the rest of their mortal lives in each others arms. Something so profound in the way two humans can find that kindred spirit, to have and to hold in all their bad habits and broken ways. What motivates one to lay aside single ways to be ‘knotted’, to commit, to say ‘Yes’ to weird sleeping habits and some-what constant nagging? Romance takes you only halfway after all.

I’ve known Aaron for some time but only yesterday I realized he was the kind of man who really knows how to treat precious matter. It was in the way he was always rushing to touch her the entire night, as if a moment away from her scared the he** out of him, and in the way he protectively kept his arms around her waist, as if he feared the air itself would bruise her if he let her go too far.

And I don’t think I’ve ever seen Carol so care-free. Always smiling ear-to-ear, she looked like a woman set free.

Some people think it’s paradoxical, that one should feel free after just being assigned to what some think is the last legal form of slavery, but it was there in her eyes, the sparkle that this was it. He was it. The one who would always make her feel beautiful with his eyes even if his lips never said the words out loud.

The best kind of wedding is the kind of wedding that doesn’t leave you wishing you were married but one that convinces you that second best will never do.

Aaron and Carol, I wish you a lifetime of happiness and that every good thing you two have sown into lives will come reaping back 100 fold like a tsunami; so no building can hold it in and all obstruction will lay flat in it’s wake. Here’s to a life filled with every dream hoped for.

Cheers.

ALSO! I performed at their wedding. And I got the lyrics right!!! Praise God practice makes perfect.

Thinking of: Christina Perry’s A Thousand Years, lyrics I finally remembered, what is up with Westin KL and salmon, Uncle Jesse, compartmentalization and Roald Dahl’s Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

For the past few weeks, I’ve been involved in very stupid behaviour. Unfortunately, life doesn’t have a “Remove cookies from the last two hours” option. You cannot CTRL+X your mistakes as if they never happened. And the thing about guilt is it follows you pretty much everywhere when you’re awake.

That’s why it really felt good to see this on my way to work.

Rainbows remind me that while some people don’t deserve second chances, Jesus gives it to them anyway.

Guess once bitten, twice shy doesn’t apply to Him.

Overdue Diwali Picture of my first ever hand Mehndi. Thank you Chitra.

Note to self: Do not eat steamboat immediately after applying henna. The tumeric paste will fall into the soup and be eaten by unsuspecting cellgroup members =/

Support Malaysian Artists:

Thinking of: Paperplane Pursuit’s Forward, Britney Spears’s Stronger, how you never miss the water until it’s gone, posts too long overdue and second chances.

It occurred to me while doing devo with Ps’s Ashley&Jane, when Jesus asked His disciples to feed the 5 thousand, He wasn’t obviously delusional. Think about it, He’s been with them for a long period of time, He asked them to give up every kind of comfort and attachment and follow Him anywhere He wanted to go. He must’ve known they had no way of naturally providing food for 5 thousand men.

You don’t need a PhD to figure out fast that:

12 disciples with no food= 5 thousand hangry men.

That graph is exponentially linear.

The disciples must’ve thought He be trippin’ and can’t see that the demand severely outweighs the supply.

But I think Jesus couldn’t have made His intentions any more clearer: It was time to level up in faith.

The point in the end wasn’t to lose the vision of the miracle and send people away but to recognize God as the provider.

Every time I look within myself I see a deficit, a quickly depleting natural resource, but the moment I search in God’s satchel, suddenly I have the capacity to feed a  bunch of hungry men. So to speak.

When I was younger, I had no money but plenty of time, now I have money but not a lot of time. I’ll always have a natural shortage, if I choose to focus on that.

I have nothing much, and that is a sad fact. Thankfully, that’s exactly what He needs from me to make a difference. Along with a pinch of obedience.

Jesus doesn’t call the equipped, He equips the ones He calls.

Anon.

I love how I’ve been hearing about the feeding of the 5 thousand since I was 5 and I still never get bored of it because everytime there’s something new to learn.

And yes, people,

SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT!

it is NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) time again! This year I plan to follow it religiously and actually get something done. I am planning to start my outline tonight. So far so good. Maybe I’ll write more than one novel and upload it here. Sho ekshiting!

Thinking of: What’s Your Number, finally giving up, Pierre Boulanger, This Century’s No Way Out, Easter 2012 auditions and NanoWriMo!!!!!

How do I describe this experience?

I was on the edge of my seat, my palms sweaty and dripping with drool from my tight balled-up fists that I stuck in my mouth to stop myself from screaming.

For one and a half hours, my focus revolved one hundred percent around a man, his son… and a robot.

It is clear to me now. Every decision I have ever made has led up to this moment.

I would like to take this opportunity to thank the people who made this movie happen. You are God’s gift to me. And when my Youtube Channel goes viral, I can only hope that you would consider me your pupil and may we make many movies together that will inspire this world for generations to come.

Totally worth going to the mall twice today.

Okay, all over-exaggerations aside, this movie is proof that you don’t need to have sex scenes to make a movie touch a life, propel it to greatness or give it hope.

The little boy who acted really did a good job. The  music was moving, elevating, escalating, uplifting and all other synonymous words that means my heart be going up-up! The storyline was so good there are no adjectives to describe it, except probably Stupendlousfusamanamusacious. Hugh Jackman makes a violent sport like boxing look really soothing and romantic. The energy from this movie was reverberating throughout the theatre to the point we were applauding every time the underdog got the upper hand.

The down side? I could try really hard to think of one so I don’t sound biased but I…don’t want to?

Lesson Learned: There will always be a Goliath to our David, but no goal is beyond your reach because with hard work, even the seemingly hopeless can achieve anything.

SUMIE RATING:

I give this movie 5 out of 5! Maximum inspiration achieved.

♦♦♦♦♦

Side note: Has anyone noticed the underdog theme has been trending in movies lately?

I would also like to thank Hugh Jackman for working out. Your efforts are never in vain.

I shall give you 6 out of 5 stars. Because I’m feeling generous today.

By the way, if you ever need someone to towel your sweat…

You towel ME.

Thinking of: How I’ll now always root for the underdog, Adele’s Someone Like You, Ajisen Ramen, mah kicks from da Bronx, shopping with the people who make me happy, being cruel to be kind, stalking Steven Spielberg and Hugh Jackman’s arms.

In her E.T. experience of Hell, Angelica sees celebrities like Selena and Michael Jackson burning in Hell’s coliseum with worms eating off their faces. She sees MJ tortured by demons imitating his dance moves, mocking the moonwalk, if you will. Angie mentions that as he was a man who allegedly sold his soul to satan for the gift of musical influence, any one who listens to him will be trapped in his musical web and eventually wind up in Hell. She also sees a child who has wound up there because he watched cartoons which led to a life of rebellion and she then proceeds to describe demons that look like Pokemon tormenting the child.

Reading that portion got me thinking;

Can a believer’s spiritual health be affected by listening or watching non-Christian forms of media like music, cartoons, etc.

Well, first and foremostly, as already settled in Part I, a believer cannot lose his/her salvation. But what of spiritual health? Does listening to Britney and watching Grey’s Anatomy affect your spiritual health?

On one hand, some Christians believe you can watch whatever you want, listen to whatever music you want because if your salvation is sure in Christ, those things wouldn’t and shouldn’t affect your relationship with God. If it does, you are a weak Christian.

On the other extreme, some people choose the way of the Amish. Complete abstinence.

But these extremes cannot and will never make sense because we are in this world and for some the struggle to not be a part of it is real! Imagine being affected by a horror movie and then feeling self-loathe that you weren’t strong enough to handle it, or imagine going up to the manager at McD’s and asking them to turn off the radio because you don’t listen to secular music. Kena sepak ‘kang. Will you swear off Apple products because it was founded by a Zen Buddhist? Are you going refrain from drinking milk from a cow milked by a Muslim?

Do you think you can relate better to the lost if you listened to the same music and watched the same shows? On the other hand, by restricting yourself do you think your holiness will draw many to you?

I’m going to have to go with “BS” to both extremes.

The reality is that in Jesus there is liberty. We are no longer bound by the shackles satan uses to torment us of our sin. But we have to be careful with what we watch and listen to because it affects our hearts which in turn affects our decisions and molds our future.

Music itself is amoral. Animation itself is amoral. They’re not evil. How then do we decide what to watch or what songs to listen to?

All things are legitimate [permissible--and we are free to do anything we please], but not all things are helpful (expedient, profitable, and wholesome). All things are legitimate, but not all things are constructive [to character] and edifying [to spiritual life].

1 Chorinthians 10:23

If our goal is for our lives to become progressively pleasing to God, then our decisions on the amoral is subject to our walk with Jesus and our relationship with Him.

Whatever weakens your reason, impairs the tenderness of your conscience, obscures your sense of God, or takes off the relish of spiritual things; in short, whatever increases the strength and authority of your body over your mind, that thing is sin to you, however innocent it may be in itself. It doesn’t matter what something is rated, or how popular it is, or how seemingly innocent it appears. If it hardens your heart toward God, if it obscures your awareness of the ugliness of sin and the holiness of God, if it takes the edge off your spiritual hunger, then it’s sin.

John Wesley’s Mom.

Our salvation, should we choose it, is free for us but Jesus paid the highest price. Grace is a gift, not a license to live licentiously. We won’t see Pikachu doing the moonwalk in Hell because the cross has us justified but if anything should motivate us in making the right decisions in life, it is that we now live for Christ, not for ourselves.

Follow me to the Lake of Sulfur won't you?

Inspired by Vincent Fong.

Thinking of: Dry humping against my will, how I just want to bury my face in your chest and say I’m sorry for how much I took you for granted, how I’m not the only one, hair quota’s, vulnerability, Sungha Jung’s lithe fingers on his Haru Haru cover, how I’ve finally figured out where the Subang KTM station is, where would I be if not for grace and C3′s Freedom.