May 22, 2013
Love In A Hopeless Place
People everywhere are trading their loneliness for temporary gratification. And I’m preaching to the choir here.
The book of Ecclesiastes warns us that one bad relationship can cost us the call of God.
Proof? Delilah. Remove Delilah from the picture and Samson would prolly have had many more chapters. And his eyesight.
The man who pleases God escapes her, but the sinner she will ensnare.
Ecclesiastes 7:26b
King Solomon, the wisest man to ever have lived, spoke those words because he had slept with over a thousand ‘strange’ women who led him away from God. He came to a place where he said among those women he bedded, not one was found righteous.
Why did he keep falling into this trap even when he knew his weakness? Well, that’s why it’s called a trap, it prolly caught him by surprise. Like a thousand times.
Note to self: Do not get entangled in relationships that will cost you your calling. Know your weakness. Keep your eyes peeled for the snares. Focus. Stay focused.
Hebrew 11:6 says God rewards those who diligently seek Him in faith. It does not say He rewards those who casually seek Him and wonder in doubt.
John Bevere. Having an Eternal Perspective.
Eff off, Satan!
Inspired by John Bevere’s Having An Eternal Perspective.
On a side note: SUCCESS WITH HERO! He finally let me pet him without trying to bite my thumb off! I sure showed that arrogant oversized hamster who’s boss. And how.
Thinking of: The higher way, how maturity has nothing to do with age but choices, god.tv, my website slowly looking better and why is it still so dark?!
May 17, 2013
The Bell Jar
I get a lot of rap for not being very, um, how you say, Potato-ish. If I had a Ringgit for every look of disgust from society when they find out I’m Potato illiterate, I could prolly pay for my one week stay in Dubai. Not for a lack of want, mind you.
I recently took a questionnaire for my friends dissertation. It was on how traditional Potatoes have evolved by choice.
In many of the questions, it seemed very pointed at blaming the internet, non-influential siblings, condoning parents, cross-cultural relationships, MTV, Americanization, etc.
In my honest onion, I believe that is 100% true. All these things HAVE played a part in me choosing not to stay a Potato.
“Mixing with other Potatoes influences the current Potatoes, creating a new Potato where the traditional Potatoes are left behind to decline.”
What is to explain for the sweeping amount of Malaysians who are not picking up the Potatoes of their “moremothers”?
Who defines Potatoes anyway?! Bah, another debate for another time.
I can’t speak for others but I speak for myself, my Potato is this; I practice what I believe in. I follow what I understand.
It seems like I’m breaking the mould, but really, I’m creating my own. I don’t take pleasure or find strength in rejecting the conventional model, but what I have created, whether by traditional standards or not, I have found through my own expedition with Christ. One that I wouldn’t force even my own children to bow down to, strongly suggest, but never force.
You should know by now, I’m not talking about Potatoes anymore.
To the person in the bell jar, blank and stopped as a dead baby, the world itself is the bad dream.
How did I know that someday—at college, in Europe, somewhere, anywhere—the bell jar, with its stifling distortions, wouldn’t descend again?
The Bell Jar. Sylvia Plath
If one day, I realize I haven’t fully self-actualized because I was wrong, then I will concede. Until then, Joan has died so I can live. I shan’t feel guilty anymore.
Ponder: How many people do you need to love you, before you believe that you are loved?
Speaking of breaking the mould
Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
2 Corinthians 4:16-18
Thinking of: Sylvia Plath, how I do know I’m slowly getting a grip, when the wallowing will be over, forgiveness versus stubbornness, a better deal and the value of suicide.
May 16, 2013
Happily Transmitted Disease
When I went through really hard times in my life, the word ‘Joy’ or ‘Happiness’ was not a word I could speak.
I would desperately turn to the pages in the Bible pouring over ANY sort of encouragement to lift my spirits.
It’s amazing, then, to know that the most positive book in the Bible was written by a prisoner in a Roman jail, waiting for his execution during one of the darkest times of his life. He didn’t just write a book about finding joy in adversity, he lived it.
Joy is fundamental to human survival. And people are recognizing this. Especially living in an age with the highest suicide and depression rates. Companies are starting to hire ‘joy consultants’ to build their employees up so they can be more productive.
Research has been done on happiness and they found that it is about as contagious as sexually transmitted diseases.
JOY is a choice. It’s that fight you need to make, for yourself.
Push your hair out of your eyes, push your back from the wall and giggle to yourself.
Smile. Laugh. Stop getting angry. Because until they can prove the existence of reincarnation, this life is all that you have and know. And it’s too da*n short to waste crying in a curled ball.
Here are my remedies:
1) Read the book of Philippians
2) Watch an episode of F.R.I.E.N.D.S.
3) Talk to your best friend. Unless she’s emo too then find someone else a happy person.
4) Dress up. Go out. Do something you love.
5) Look at pictures of cute puppies.
It’s easier said than done. Sometimes getting out seems impossible.
It’s kind of fun to do the impossible. Walt Disney.
You are not alone. It gets better =) If it hasn’t, then it’s not the end yet.
Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank Him for all He has done.
Philippians 4:6
Inspired by Rick Warren
On a side note: I have new found respect for Angelina Jolie. *salute*
Thinking of: Amazing mothers, my mother and how she did it, I’ll never know.
May 14, 2013
Tears Of A Spoilt Brat
There’s a joke that the Chinese ideogram for ‘peace’ is a woman under one roof (安), and the ideogram for ‘trouble’ is two women under one roof.
There once lived a man with two wives. One wife was barren while his second wife gave him many sons and daughters. The first wife, whose name was Hannah, wept frequently because not only was she barren but the second wife would constantly vex her on that very fact.
Why was she barren? The Bible says that the Lord had closed her womb.
Naturally, then, one would conclude that her cause for barrenness was not a bodily defect but an act of God. Which means she was barren for God’s definitive purposes.
But whether or not that was the case didn’t matter to Hannah because a woman’s badge of acceptance before the women’s liberation movement was, and I would like to quote the great Napoleon Bonaparte here, ”Women are nothing but machines for producing children.”
So Hannah wept bitterly.
There are many kinds of tears; tears of lack, tears of discomfort, tears of sadness, tears of pain, etc.
Hannah cried the tears of a spoiled brat because she didn’t get what she wanted.
Her husband sees her inconsolable and averse to food and asks her, ‘Why aren’t you eating? Why are you grieving? Am I not worth to you more than ten sons?’
What a kick in the nuts. Isn’t that just like a man to throw the very thing you want to gift him back in your face?
It’s not that he didn’t know why she was plagued with grief. It’s not that he didn’t know her greatest desire was to please him with a dashing young heir.
–2 second feminist rant–
“I want to give you kids more than anything!”
“Why? Isn’t having me as your husband more than a house full of kids? Hey babe, could you make me a sandwich while you’re in there?”
–End of rant–
I believe those words were when Hannah’s tears turned to tears of utter brokenness. The Bible says she was crushed in her soul.
I expect every woman has been crushed in her spirit by the man she loves at some point in her life.
And when Hannah had previously said, “Lord, give me a child so I can bless my husband” she now lay at the feet of God and said, “Lord, give me a child and I’ll give him back to You.”
God will not take away anything we put above Him. He wants us to give it to Him willingly.
What seemed like a judgment upon Hannah was the prelude to God’s amazing providence, but it all began with withholding.
What is that most precious thing you desire for? You have been waiting for so long but are denied. That very thing that makes you question God why does He withhold it from you, why isn’t He blessing you in this area?
God wants you to come to a place where you will withhold NOTHING from Him, and in your complete brokenness, true worship is birthed.
True worship, is when you finally bow your knees to the sovereignty of the One who deserves all your attention in the first place.
Many are content doing the permissive will of God, but a broken spirit and a contrite heart will yield every desire that foreshadows Jesus as number one to the perfect and pleasing will of God.
The day Hannah yielded her desire for a son to God, He opened her womb.
She had finally discovered the true meaning of Total Surrender.
Inspired by Dr Neal Patterson
On a side note: Will not be doing a review on Iron Man III because it’s not worth that. Okay that’s not true, mini review right here.
SPOILER ALERT!
Robert Downey Jr.: Awesome. Plot: So-so. Dialogue: Semi-emotional masked with wit. Pepper Potts: nice body, useful, should’ve stayed dead. The Mandarin: Worst villain ever.
BEST SCENE: Sexy RDJ dance at the beginning When Iron Man calls the suit to protect his lover.
STUPIDEST IRON MAN MOVE: When Tony Stark gives the villain his house address. Did you learn nothing from the Dark Knight Rises?!
Since this is a mini review, I shan’t rate. It is understood it’s a feel good movie so watch at your own risk.
SUMIE RATING:
Thinking of: Women who need to know their value, Gilmore Girls, the completely useless chinese version of IM3, a broken spirit and a contrite heart.
May 3, 2013
My Heart’s Keeper: I Will, I Do
To My Heart’s Keeper,
When darkness shadows my door,
And panic threatens my entire being,
The One who stands strong for me holds me close and says
‘Shh, I’m here, you don’t need to be afraid anymore’
The ugliest nails imprint Your loving palms,
It’s in these hole-y hands,
I have found that I am fearfully and wonderfully secure.
A thousand times I fail,
A thousand times I fall,
Still You pick me up and whisper gently,
‘Like an eagle, I will teach you to soar’
It’s ironic after searching for so long,
I have finally found,
what my lonely heart has been looking for.
I Will, I Do.
Of You, My Love, I’ll always want more.
Forever Yours,
Sumie
On a PSA note: I guess I should say something about elections tomorrow.
- Educate yourself.
- KNOW your rights
- Don’t just read or listen to mainstream media
- Don’t just watch Youtube videos
- Don’t just listen to what people or blogs have to say
- Don’t just go for the best looking candidate
- Don’t vote based on race or religion but capability and accountability
- Don’t vote based on emotions like hate or fear, but rational judgement
- Pray
- Always know God is sovereign, and in control of everything. He cannot be cheated by corrupt men. He will protect His people.
Let everyone be subject to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established.The authorities that exist have been established by God.
Romans 13:1 (emphasis mine)
On a side note: I have SO much work to do. But. Cannot focus.
Thinking of: His unchanging grace, rekindling writing poetry, Rick Warren’s Change Something, Change You, the winds of change, Sis Ruth Patterson rocking the house and MY FIRST TIME VOTING TOMORROW!!!!
May 2, 2013
The Quick Brown Fox
I want the answer.
I want the answer to the why’s.
I want the answers to the how’s.
But it looks like I’m getting neither.
There’s a story about Israeli slaves kidnapped from their families forced to work in the rural turquoise mines between Egypt and Mount Sinai. The slaves were beaten and tortured and left to live in fear and utter darkness in caves that you couldn’t even stand up straight in. This was before the Lord sent Moses to deliver His people. The time when suffering was rampant and redemption was nowhere to be found. The time when He was very quiet.
Then the Lord sent Moses as a deliverer. As the Israelites were on the way from Egypt towards Mount Sinai, the Lord went out of the way to make sure even these slaves in the rural turquoise mines were not left behind and He saved them.
Many years later, archeologists found markings on the ceilings of these caves where the slaves were imprisoned. The slaves had written out something:
Our God Is Eternal.
This was before they were saved by Moses. Before they even knew when salvation would come.
Don’t be so quick to get out of a season.
Aaron Kee
I want the answers. I want the breakthroughs. And I want them now.
Yes, I admit I was the one who dug the pit and stupidly fell into it.
But if I’m still here, there must be something You want me to learn.
There must be a reason You are telling me many things, but not what I want to hear.
Whatever ‘mistakes’ you have the privilege to go through, you were made to overcome.
Aaron Kee
God, though You may choose to be silent, but You have gone out of Your way to prove to me that I am never forgotten.
Though I make my bed in hell, You are there. It is in this hell I find the most beautiful flowers blossom.
Sigh.
Even if I never find out why, I’m perfectly comfy hiding here in Your hands.
Please don’t let me go.
God will deliver you. And when He does, the testimony will be yours, and no man can take credit for it.
Aaron Kee
Inspired by Ps Ryan, Aaron Kee, Jon Chiam and Sister Ruth Patterson.
On a side note: There’s a bird born with a Bieber hairstyle that’s surprisingly not extinct.
I was like ‘Baby, baby, baby, oh!’
Thinking of: Gloster Canaries, Sister Ruth Patterson, The Moses Tabernacle, Evanescence’s Bring Me To Life, how encouragement comes when I need it the most, Krewella’s Alive, Lawson’s Standing in the Dark, elections and pre-planned spontaneous slumber parties.
May 1, 2013
Waiting Till It’s Right
If it wasn’t for [my mom], I wouldn’t have met the most beautiful woman in the world, I wouldn’t have met my other half, I wouldn’t have met my best friend.
Jay Ong
Minute 1:40, you make me believe again :’)
Congrats Jay and Sue Anne Ong
There are three things that are too amazing for me, four that I do not understand: the way of an eagle in the sky, the way of a snake on a rock, the way of a ship on the high seas, and the way of a man with a maiden.
Proverbs 30:18-19
There’s no other hand I’d rather hold.
Thinking of: That kind of undying love, Happy Labour Day and Ruth Patterson in 2 hours.
April 30, 2013
Rumour Has It
Okay I have the most delicious piece of news. Did you hear? Someone close to me did something scandalously juicy and now everything within me seems to brim over with the desire to spill the beans to a close friend on the person without stopping for a second to think that gossiping tears friendships apart.
I was reading this blogpost on my friend Roshie’s Blog, and was immediately convicted.
I don’t gossip. That much. As I used to. Anymore. Starting from right now.
I know of a friend who says she feels strangely disconnected from people who use gossipping as a means to build relationships.
I can’t say I don’t relate because I have several friends a friend where our relationship started with gossipping about other people.
They’re not big bad things, or so I tell myself, they’re small mean jokes sometimes, like “Oh, did you hear? So-and-so had another asthma attack. Can you imagine the amount of inhalers she’ll need when she starts making out with a guy” or “Yeah, so-and-so came to me with girl problems again. Good God, it’s like he thinks I have the answers.”
I deceive myself into thinking, by sharing this other persons problems to this unrelated other person, that I’m somehow really helping the situation get better. So much so that I fail to see the venom coming out of my own mouth.
And reading Roshie’s post on that unfair and untruthful account of her, I suddenly was filled with thoughts of every person I’ve ever gossiped about or gossiped to, sometimes both the same people.
Am I so shallow I have nothing else to talk about?
I can talk about anything, including MY OWN problems, why do I choose to harp on someone else’s?
Why do we gossip? Why do I gossip?
To make myself feel better? Insecurity runs deep then.
To keep the friendship alive? It’s not a real friendship to begin with then.
The bible says we will reap what we sow. If I sow in gossipping about others, what kind of fruits am I reaping?
More than gossiping, I want to be able to walk away from engaging in those kinds of conversations.
It’s time that I start watching my friends back rather than stabbing them in the back.
If my friends truly mean anything to me, I wouldn’t tolerate poisonous tales about them.
If I consider myself a good friend and an upstanding citizen in my community, I have to be the one to stop gossiping from becoming a culture in my world.
This gossiping business has to stop.
Let it stop with me.
Roshie J
Don’t bad-mouth each other, friends. It’s God’s Word, His Message, His Royal Rule, that takes a beating in that kind of talk. You’re supposed to be honoring the Message, not writing graffiti all over it. God is in charge of deciding human destiny. Who do you think you are to meddle in the destiny of others?
James 4:11
On a side note:
This rejection from the new puppy can’t be good for my self-esteem.
Dammit Hero, why won’t you let me pet you?!
Thinking of: Hero, never gossiping again, watching my words and bridling my tongue.
April 25, 2013
I Will Die For Her
I was watching this online sermon by Pastor Robert Morris during the Planet Shaker’s conference and I have to say, I have gained some insight.
When God made something, He spoke to what He wanted it to come from, to be sustained by and to return to.
Robert Morris
For example, in Genesis 1:11, God said let the earth produce vegetation, grass, herb yielding seed, etc. He didn’t say, ‘Let there be Oak trees’ or ‘Let there be mushrooms’. So the grass came from the dirt, was sustained by the dirt and returned to it.
The same for animals. God said let the earth bring forth animals. He didn’t say, ‘Let there be cows’. So animals came from the earth, were sustained by it and returned to it after death.
What about us?
Yes, our bodies are from the earth, we are sustained by the earth and when we die we return to it.
But what of our Spirit?
And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness [...]
Genesis 1:26
So our spirit is from God, we are sustained by God and when we die, we shall return to Him.
What happens when a plant tells the ground, “I’m pulling out.”
Can that plant sustain? No. It will die.
What happens when we tell God we don’t need Him?
You will surely die. Not a threat. Just a fact. Because He is our source.
What is God’s bottom-line desire in making us? That we worship Him? Partly. But not fully. If we do not worship Him the rocks will cry out.
So what is God’s deepest desire?
To know that, we reflect on what Adam deeply desired. Adam was made in God’s image. In perfection, in a sinless world.
Out of all that God made, He only saw one thing that wasn’t good. That Adam was alone. That no suitable companion for him was found.
What did Adam desire? A bride.
What does Jesus desire?
What happened when Adam and Eve disobeyed God? That was an act that said, “I don’t need Your sustenance, God.”
And so sin entered, and so did death.
If it was just Eve who sinned. This is the conversation that God would’ve had with Adam.
“Adam, I’m sorry to tell you this, but your bride has sinned. And must die.”
Not a threat. A fact. Because she had pulled out from the source.
But that conversation DID happen. Just not between God and Adam, but between God and Jesus.
God: Our bride has sinned. And now must die.
Jesus: I will die in her place.
What does Jesus desire?
You.
Don’t let anybody tell you otherwise.
On a side revelation: Ice-cream, if you think about it, is really processed vegetables.
Did you know that: Without ice-cream the world would be in darkness and chaos?
Thinking of: Ugly Naked Guy, ice-cream, Robert Morris, 66 cents, rest and how much I need a hero. Or at least a rope or a ladder or something.
April 10, 2013
I’m Awake
They say behind every successful man is a woman.
I believe behind every successful woman is Jesus.
I’m finally awake.
But I trust in You, O LORD; I say, “You are my God.”
Psalms 31:14
Thinking of: Fall Out Boy’s My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark (Light ‘Em Up), Christina Aguilera & Blake Shelton’s Just a Fool, Justin Bieber feat. Ludacris’ All Around The World, Jason Mraz’s The Woman I Love, Jerry Seinfeld, amazing clients, best couple award to Ho-Kee, Elaine, the naked guy on the subway and MY FIRST VIDEO SHOOT!
